He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
