she woke up with a sticky ear
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
