the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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