My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
