that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
