He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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