I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
