I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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