I will die if light touches me.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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