Three words: puerto rican gang bang
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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