Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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