then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
