you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
