Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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