so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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