Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
