im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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