guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
This house was built for laser tag.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
