absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
