I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
