OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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