I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
