it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
