Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
