period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
