I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
