hotel room ftw
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
