dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
