Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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