She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
