He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
