Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
