lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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