It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
