but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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