What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
