i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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