I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
