Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
