The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
