The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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