A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
