real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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