you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
