There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
