are you still at the devil's house?
operation harelip BJ is a go
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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