Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
