I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
