I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
