i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
