Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
