I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
