office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
