I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
