The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
