pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
wrigley field is MILF paradise
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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