I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So vagazzling was a success
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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